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AlatariŽl Tťlrunya
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1st January 2005 at 7:00 pm

This Day We Fight

Its the first book, and film, you've gotta know it. The book varies from the film, but since thei is a fansite of the film, thats what i'm going to talk about. But, beware, it is not a informative formal kind of tale.. i have made you a guide of LotR for dummies. So, i am not taking the piss of LotR, im just juicing up the story... try and spot a few strange things i've added.
Anyway, Enough chit chat from me,
AlatariŽl Tťlrunya

The Fellowship Of The Ring

The movie begins with just the voice of Galadriel.. and a black screen. She speaks the history of Middle Earth, how the Ring came into being, and what happened to it. I can almost recite this part of the film by heart... in fact i can almost recite all of the film by heart. Heres a brief... summary of it.
FotR is the first part of the story about a ring forged by Sauron. Sauron is the evil lord of Mordor, so to speak. He is slain and the ring is lost and so on and so forth until it comes into the hands of Bilbo Baggins, a hobbit (a small person) from the shire (a green place). Bilbo does all sorts of scary tricks with it and scares everyone at his birthday party, then tries to run off to see the elves. However, Gandalf the grey, a wizard, says 'leave the ring behind!' and so Bilbo goes all schizo and says 'you want it for yourself!' and then leaves it and runs away to see the elves.
Frodo, his nephew (also a hobbit [a small person]) gets the ring, and hides it in an envelope until Gandalf comes home from reading some books and says 'Frodo! The ring is evil! here, let me take it and throw it in your fireplace.' And so he does. then there is lots of history again, and Gandalf pulls sam in through a window and chucks him on a table. Then they all run away and see the elves.
HOWEVER, Gandalf goes riding to see Saruman and leaves Frodo and Sam-I-Am to go wandering to Bree but they fall down a hill with Merry and Pippin, also hobbits. Then spooky people in black cloaks chase them to Bree, which is a town, not a cheese. They meet Aragorn, a man. Then lots of stuff happens, and frodo get stabbed by a scary black cloaked person, and Arwen (an elf) takes him riding into a river where all the scary black cloaked people get washed away.
Later, in Rivendell, an elf valley/town/thing, Arwens Daddy, Elrond, saves Frodo and makes alot of people come and talk about the ring and they send Frodo to Mordor to destroy it with Sam, Merry, Pippin, Aragorn, Gandalf (who in the meantime was attacked by evil Saruman and put on a roof and caught an eagle taxi to rivendell.), an elf called legolas, a dwarf called Gimli, and a man called Boromir and also a pumpkin called Jeffery.
They go walking up a mountain but Saruman throws snow at them and they climb down again, and go walkies to a rock door and a huge Kraken Octopus Thing that tries to eat Frodo. However, they attack it and Jeffery kills it, or maybe Legolas. Then they walk in the rock door and into a cave filled with orcs and goblins and also a huge goat horned falming thing called a Balrog that grabs Gandalf and throws him in a hole and falls with him and Jeffery almost dies trying to save him. And So, 10 become 9, and they walk to lorien where Galadriel and Haldir and Celeboring live, and gets some things and go canoeing in a river that takes them to a place filled with Uruk-Hais and Boromir dies and Frodo and Sam-I-Am run away with Jeffery and Merry and Pippin are captured by Uruks and Aragorn, Gimli and the nancy elf Legolas go walking after them. The End.

This is not a piss take, it is just humor. So laugh already!

By far, my favorite scene is the schizo bilbo one, so i have recreated it in cartoon for you:

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